Defining Moments

If I have learned anything in life it is that we are defined by different moments in our lives. We go through things that mold and shape up into the individuals we are. It is why we are always changing, growing, learning. Some of our experiences are better or worse than others, heck some are stronger than others. They are built to withstand more. One thing that's the same is the impact these things leave in our lives, either good or bad. Hurt is hurt, pain is pain, joy is joy, and so on. I have been through quite a few of these defining moments in my life, things that have molded me into the person I am today. Some things are not meant to be shared while others are.... I was 14 years old and it was a Saturday. I was super excited my best friend Kelly was coming over to go bowling and spend the night. Kelly, my sister Gayleen, and I got all done up (who knew what cute boys we would see). Kelly had left some things at home she wanted to wear so we headed over to her house only to find her parents weren't home. So we did what all teenage girls do needing that outfit we really want to wear, got on each others backs and broke into the bedroom window. Luckily it was unlocked. We head over to the bowling alley only to find it was packed out and we would have to wait 4 plus hours to bowl. No worries though we were just happy to be out. We had a great time that night, hanging out, eating, talking to boys, just being teenage girls. My mom picked us up and we headed home. My older brother Jeremiah was also having a friend spend the night so we stayed up to wee hours (3am to be exact) in the morning just talking, hanging out, watching the movie Big Daddy. As we settled in to go to sleep downstairs in my room we look up at the ceiling and saw a cockroach and decided sleeping upstairs in the living room would be much safer. I fell asleep and Kelly stayed up a little longer hanging out with my brother and his friend. It was a Saturday night so we had plans to go to church Sunday. My mom woke me up at 7:30 that next morning telling me to go get ready for church, I could hear the shower running downstairs and took my time getting down there figuring Kelly was already in the shower. As I was going down there I could hear my alarm buzzing so went and turned it off. At this point it had been 15 min or so and the water was still running. Wondering what Kelly was doing I decided to go check. Little did I know that my life would change that next second, we rarely see it coming. I walked to the bathroom to find the door open and my best friend halfway floating in the slowly building water. I picked her up and laid her down. My mom was a registered nurse and always knew what to do so I ran screaming for her. She performed CPR while my brother called 911, all the while my family had gathered around. Kelly passed away that morning, she had a seizer after turning on the water for her shower and drowned in the growing water. The drain wasn't even up, I imagine it was just clogged. The worst part was to come, the phone call to her parents. Seeing her devastated, heartbroken parents curled up on our front yard was a sight that left it's mark on my heart. Parents should not have to bury children, it's just not the natural order. So as with any of us that lose someone we love we go through the what if's and guilt. What if I never would've invited Kelly over to spend the night that night, what is that cockroach wouldn't have driven us out of my room my alarm would've woken me up, what if I would have just gotten right up when my mom told me to I may have made it in time. I could've prevented this. It's the story we tell ourselves. After losing Kelly my life took quite the turn. Gone was the medals and trophies I earned in the multiple sports I played and in it's place was partying and drugs. I used my experience as an excuse, a temporary fix for dealing with life. I learned a great lesson, it is not these moments that define us but how we react to them. We are products of our choices. I have learned a great deal from that time in my life and it prepared me well for what was to come. We don't always understand the why's behind these events but we do choose how we learn and grow from them. Don't let the anger destroy you. Take what you have learned and try to help others in the same situation. Be exactly what you needed in your greatest time of need. Honor those you have lost.