We get what we put in

I hope everyone had a great weekend!! We had a baseball tournament and great weather down here in Bama so that is just the right ingredients for an awesome weekend! I will admit I was a little bummed we lost our 3rd game (which put us out of the tournament) but with temps in the 70's nothing could get me down long. We have an awesome little ball team this year with some amazing talent so  we will be a force to be reckoned with when season starts. I like that my kids are involved in things that build character and teaches life lessons. I am a you get what you put in type person, or in better words talk is cheap, you reap what you sow, you get the point. If you give it your all with your endeavors in life you will not walk away disappointed. This is a lesson I am working on teaching my kids. They are also reaching the age I am having to let go of the reins a little bit. I remember when I  was 4 or 5 years old hanging out down the street at the local bar. We lived in Iowa at the time and my brother, sister, and I loved to go sit at the Tic Tock and get free water. Sometimes they would even give us rolls which really sweetened the deal. As I reflect back on my childhood the thing I cherish the most was my freedom. Now that doesn't mean I am in any way, shape, or form going to let my kids walk to the nearest bar and hang out, but I do have to let them experience some aspects of life without me hovering over them. This has been very hard for me to do but my kids have relished in it. They have formed hideouts, secret gardens, and found some pretty awesome hidden treasures. Saturday morning they were so excited to show me there new hangout spot. The neighbors across the street have a big grove of bamboo. My kids kept saying they had found a hidden fort and trampoline in there. I honestly thought they were playing around so I was really surprised and impressed when they showed it to me. It was a great lesson to me that I don't give them enough credit and they have to learn to use their wings. We live in the same neighborhood I spent half my life in so yesterday I decided to take my kids to one of my old hideout spots in the woods across the street from us. These woods have a creek that runs through it and flows into the Cahaba River so they are not allowed in their without an adult. So I thought it would be cool to take them there  without realizing how overgrown things get  in 16 years. So this little hike turned into an hour trek though water, vines, and overgrowth all in my flip flops but it was so worth it to listen to the excitement they felt. I almost didn't make this trek with my kids. I was in a really bad mood and almost just sent them out to play. It was such a great reminder to me that we get what we put in. If I had chosen to stay inside I would've sat on FB, watched TV, and probably fallen asleep. I would have wasted a day and most likely gotten in an even worse mood than I already was. I like to be happy and try and make the choice every morning that I am going to have a great day. This does not always work and there are some days that just can't be fixed but push to make your life one worth living, set the standard high for your children. I always say if I can do better than my parents did, and my children do better than we did, and so forth, then our legacy will be a success... I hope all who read this has an awesome day and enjoy this sunshine while it last!!

Good deeds

My faith in humanity was restored yesterday. We are surrounded by so much evil in this world that it is great to be reminded of the good. All you have to do is read this to know what I'm talking about www.rxnetworking.com/angelsforalex. I'll be honest, a year and a half ago I would've read a post like this felt terrible, sad, but in the back of my mind so grateful it wasn't happening to my family. It's one of those things we never think will happen to us. November of 2012 taught me differently. We received the news that our 6 year old nephew was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which we later found out was not just any tumor but the deadliest, DIPG. Not Alex! He's not much older than my Bradley. Kathy and Andrew (his parents) are phenomenal parents, do everything right by their children. Kathy is one of the best moms I know. I have always looked up to her parenting style and have tried to emulate it with my own. They didn't deserve this. I was trying to make deals with God to take it away. We always turn a blind eye to these situations until it is too late. Why is the price that's paid so high? The Terry's life will never be the same, they will never be the same. Death leaves holes that can never be healed. One thing death does is open your eyes to what is important in life. It serves as a great reminder that there are good people in this world. My sister in law Kim and I made donation buckets for Alex after his diagnosis. As I went around to businesses asking if they would put up a bucket almost every single one did without a single thought. They didn't even questioned it and most even put in money of their own. Jake, the guy who wrote the blog above and created the angel fight did so out of the kindness of his heart. He has no blood relation to the Terry's but gave hours of his time to fight for this cause. He deserves a Purple Heart. It is acts of kindness like these that get people through some of their darkest days. I chose to write about this today to raise awareness, we can all do something to help. Even if it is just opening our mouths. Cancer is real as we will all experience at one point or the other in our lives. The children need to be placed first with this epidemic. Everyday I pray that my children will be spared. Please join with me and help raise awareness!! I always try to remember that we are not remembered by the things we have but the lives we lead.

Smelling the roses

It's been a busy past few days (which explains my lack in blog posts). When Bradley woke up Friday he had a rash/possible poison ivy all over his face and a swollen eye. Scott wound up taking him into the doctor while I got ready to go to my own appt,  clipped a couple hundred box tops, went straight to Bradley's school for a valentines party, get the class box top collection in, do the parent jump rope for heart competition during Brads PE, get my girls, come home to eat and get ready for baseball practice, and then drop the kids off at the babysitting club (tell you more about that later) after baseball , and finally Scott and I went out on a date for Valentines day. We are actually not really ones to go out on Vday, I am just not a huge fan of overcrowded restaurants and fighting the crowds. Two friends of mine girls have a babysitting club and it something that my kids love to go to so with sitters lined up we jumped on the chance to go out. These girls who put together this club are the best babysitters anyone could ask for (and their moms for letting everyone invade their homes :). They set up different stations with the kids, play with them, do plays, dress up, snacks, ect. To top it off they only charge 5$ a kid for 3 hours, you just can't beat it! Not to mention my kids love them, we are very blessed with great people in our lives. So as the weekend progressed it stayed just as busy. I have found that as my kids get older this is becoming the norm. I had all 3 of my kids in 3 and a half years so I spent years of my life feeding kids, changing diapers, washing bottles, lugging around a car seat with a baby in it, all while having one or more kid hanging on me. As I am venturing out of that phase in life and my children are growing older and more independent I am just realizing how fast their lives are flashing before my eyes. I am making a conscience effort each day to stop and smell the roses. I know a lot of my friends have heard the story of the older lady who talks about the handprints. How we spend all this time cleaning and keeping up with our homes to turn around the next second and have dirty handprints over what we just cleaned. How one day there will be no more handprints to clean. How we shouldn't let these handprints anger us but to enjoy them. This is something I have personally struggled with, letting go. I will admit, I'm a clean freak. Almost borderline OCD (just ask anyone who's walked on my clean floors with shoes on :). This is something that I have had to learn to let go of a little bit. It's just a house and honestly as hard as I try it's going to be back dirty in a day or two anyways. There will come a day that I will have no one left to clean up after. I am trying to just worry about today, enjoy what I have, prioritize what's important. When I think  any farther than that it becomes overwhelming. If you share this struggle with me try and take a step back. Reorganize your life with the things that matter. Time is the most valuable thing we have. It can not be given back or bought. It's something that some would trade their soul for. I know this is all easier said than done, but I promise you it is possible. Enjoy what you have for none of us are promised tomorrow.

Defining Moments

If I have learned anything in life it is that we are defined by different moments in our lives. We go through things that mold and shape up into the individuals we are. It is why we are always changing, growing, learning. Some of our experiences are better or worse than others, heck some are stronger than others. They are built to withstand more. One thing that's the same is the impact these things leave in our lives, either good or bad. Hurt is hurt, pain is pain, joy is joy, and so on. I have been through quite a few of these defining moments in my life, things that have molded me into the person I am today. Some things are not meant to be shared while others are.... I was 14 years old and it was a Saturday. I was super excited my best friend Kelly was coming over to go bowling and spend the night. Kelly, my sister Gayleen, and I got all done up (who knew what cute boys we would see). Kelly had left some things at home she wanted to wear so we headed over to her house only to find her parents weren't home. So we did what all teenage girls do needing that outfit we really want to wear, got on each others backs and broke into the bedroom window. Luckily it was unlocked. We head over to the bowling alley only to find it was packed out and we would have to wait 4 plus hours to bowl. No worries though we were just happy to be out. We had a great time that night, hanging out, eating, talking to boys, just being teenage girls. My mom picked us up and we headed home. My older brother Jeremiah was also having a friend spend the night so we stayed up to wee hours (3am to be exact) in the morning just talking, hanging out, watching the movie Big Daddy. As we settled in to go to sleep downstairs in my room we look up at the ceiling and saw a cockroach and decided sleeping upstairs in the living room would be much safer. I fell asleep and Kelly stayed up a little longer hanging out with my brother and his friend. It was a Saturday night so we had plans to go to church Sunday. My mom woke me up at 7:30 that next morning telling me to go get ready for church, I could hear the shower running downstairs and took my time getting down there figuring Kelly was already in the shower. As I was going down there I could hear my alarm buzzing so went and turned it off. At this point it had been 15 min or so and the water was still running. Wondering what Kelly was doing I decided to go check. Little did I know that my life would change that next second, we rarely see it coming. I walked to the bathroom to find the door open and my best friend halfway floating in the slowly building water. I picked her up and laid her down. My mom was a registered nurse and always knew what to do so I ran screaming for her. She performed CPR while my brother called 911, all the while my family had gathered around. Kelly passed away that morning, she had a seizer after turning on the water for her shower and drowned in the growing water. The drain wasn't even up, I imagine it was just clogged. The worst part was to come, the phone call to her parents. Seeing her devastated, heartbroken parents curled up on our front yard was a sight that left it's mark on my heart. Parents should not have to bury children, it's just not the natural order. So as with any of us that lose someone we love we go through the what if's and guilt. What if I never would've invited Kelly over to spend the night that night, what is that cockroach wouldn't have driven us out of my room my alarm would've woken me up, what if I would have just gotten right up when my mom told me to I may have made it in time. I could've prevented this. It's the story we tell ourselves. After losing Kelly my life took quite the turn. Gone was the medals and trophies I earned in the multiple sports I played and in it's place was partying and drugs. I used my experience as an excuse, a temporary fix for dealing with life. I learned a great lesson, it is not these moments that define us but how we react to them. We are products of our choices. I have learned a great deal from that time in my life and it prepared me well for what was to come. We don't always understand the why's behind these events but we do choose how we learn and grow from them. Don't let the anger destroy you. Take what you have learned and try to help others in the same situation. Be exactly what you needed in your greatest time of need. Honor those you have lost.

Identity crisis: To all the moms and moms to be

To all the Moms (and future moms) let's all bring ourselves to the past, present, or future. It's getting to be time, the time your life is about to change. You have dreamed and imagined this moment for most of your life. It's going to be amazing, and even though your belly is about to explode and all these crazy things have happened with your body you don't care. You are about to have a beautiful baby. He/she is going to make your life complete. It's going to be great, you get to hold them, dress them in the cutest outfits, take them out to show them off, life is going to be perfect from here on out (to all the seasoned moms out there I imagine your chuckling at this point). Haha, oh boy was I a fool!! Don't get me wrong when I first had Bradley my life was roses. I got to hold and snuggle this beautiful boy I was already madly in love with. I even got to push a button every time I needed something. I was the mom who let my newborn sleep in the nursery. Life was amazing for those 2 days. Then we get home and reality sets in. Sleepless nights, eat, poop, pee (sometimes on you), spit up, diaper change, burp, sleep, cry, take care of all the little newborn things, then do it again. Over and over and over again. All the while let's not forget about ourselves. We just gave birth, are trying to recover, constantly engorged, and your hormones are so out of control you barely know who you are anymore. (If this was not you than thank your lucky stars:). Lol, our poor husbands!! Then there is this guilt , why am I feeling this way I just received a gift straight from God Himself. We love this baby so much but can't figure out what's wrong with us. We are having an identity crisis, our lives are no longer our own. We figure it out through, don't we? We change, we stop living for ourself and start living for them. We are the  most unselfish beings on Earth. Now let's fast forward. Are kids are older and we start doing the "mom" things. Park, play dates, ect. We  are around other moms and let's face it constantly beating ourselves up. Always comparing ourselves to each other from parenting styles to  appearances. Why are we so hard on each other?  I get that it's partly in our nature but the bottom line is that we are all the same. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Why is there so much pressure on us in today's society? Do our children really care what designer outfit they have on or whether that kid is bigger than them, smarter than them? No, so why keep adding this added pressure to our already overflowing lives? This is the time to take a lesson from our children. We all hold the highest calling. We are in charge of lives. It is our duty to mold, shape, and teach our children. Let's stop with all the nonsense and support one another.. We are all equally important, key word EQUAL. So as I wrap this up for today remember that. Strive to be what our children think we are, amazing!!

Finally making the plunge

So today I am finally making the plunge. I have been wanting to create a blog for years now and decided to make the jump today, plus I know everyone is just dying to hear from me :). My number one motivating factor in this is for my children. Having lost my Mom and in turn losing such a big part of myself, I would've given anything for my mom to have left behind a journal or something similar for my family and I to remember her by. She is missed so much. So I want to leave something for my kids if something was to ever happen to me and what greater way since we know what's put online stays there (or so they say). My other reason is to reach out to others like me, Moms. We dedicate so much of ourselves to our kids, spouse, and everyone else who is pulling on our coat strings and we forget about ourselves. We sometimes get lost in this "thing we call life". So I'm here to be real with the taboos of society and hopefully to help others on the way. One warning though for all the grammar police out there, if I misspell something that my spell check doesn't pick up on and it takes too long to fix it's going to stay. Fortunately I have much bigger problems than incorrect grammar or punctuation. So that being cleared up I really do hope that through sharing some of my thoughts and experiences in life that I can help and encourage others. Since I am on a time crunch this morning I will briefly share a few things about myself. I was born the 6th child of 11 children (talk about middle child syndrome). All 11 of us are from the same parents and there are no twins. I had an awesome childhood and never remember a time I was alone. My mom was always so proud of all of us, her tombstone reads "parents of 11 children". We were her biggest accomplishment in life. I am married to a great guy (Scott) who has stood by my side for almost 10 years of marriage. I am only 28 so I am super proud of that almost 10 years. Together we have 3 kids and my youngest sister "Siah" who has lived with us for the past 3 years. Bradley my oldest is 7, he's the best son a mom could ask for (of course aren't all of our kids) he is a sweet, sensitive, handsome, talented kid. He is super smart and very creative. He will probably be the one to take care of Scott and I one day. Aubrey  who is 5 is my middle child, she is my mini me. She keeps us laughing, loves babies, likes to take care of others, gives lots of love, and has a great heart. She has already started putting on her own makeup (and is surprisingly good at it) but can take care of herself. I see a lot of myself in her. Abigail who's 3 is my baby. Sweet, fun loving, biggest daddy's girl around, and has a great imagination. She is always pretending to be someone else and loves to make us laugh. Sariah who's 16 is my baby sister. She beautiful, smart, thinks she's a professional race car driver, and loves boys (granted who didn't at that age). She is an honor roll student and we are very proud of her. While my life is so far from perfect , my family is. They are perfect for me, they make my world go round and give the best roller coaster rides. That's what life is all about though, enjoying the ride....