I'm still alive!!!

Don't you just love when you wake in one of those moods questioning who in the heck decided to take a piss in your Cheerios? Like your always told, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it all. That has definantly been my morning. No ryhme or reason for it either, just one of them days!! It has been a crazy few weeks. I have been trying to finish up our living/dining room reno, started a part time babysitting gig, and just the normal everyday grind. Oh yeah Scott and I got the stomach bug for the second time this season, isn't there some type of law against that?? Luckily, knock on wood, the kids have been spared. You could only imagine what my house looked like come Monday morning after having the kids run the show this weekend. It didn't bode well for my OCD. All will be good though. The sun is shining, it's supposed to warm up, and I'm trying to clean out that cereal bowl. All you really have to do is take a look at what's going on in the world to realize things aren't that bad. Some pretty awesome people we know tragically lost their brother this week. It's one of those things that pains you so much. For any of us who have experienced a significant loss it always brings you back. It puts things into perspective of what really matters in life and kills you that another life is changed by death. We all understand the long treacherous journey that lies ahead. You wouldn't wish it upon your worst enemy. Most days I try to not concentrate on that loss too deeply. It's always there but when I get too deep into it it's just too gut wrenching. We miss our loved ones so much. I am a believer in an after life and that brings me comfort, my beliefs bring me comfort period.  When I was younger I was watching Oprah one day. There was a lady they were interviewing down in Africa. Her village had been ransacked by a bunch of men with guns. They killed her husband, raped her daughter, and kidnapped her boy. We now know that this work was done by Joseph Cony but at the time Oprah was trying to bring  awareness to the situation. They asked this lady how she felt and her response has always stuck with me. She was not angry or bitter but yet claimed to have hope for a possible better future for her daughter. The only thing she had left she took the high road for and held hope that there would be a change. How much can we learn from this? As a society as a whole we hold so much entitlement about things that really don't matter. I mean I was mad when my chair came in that I ordered online and it had a small stain on it. So ridiculous yet we let these things bother  us. Haha such a rough life!!  Anyways moral of the story is that our lives are controlled by what we surround ourselves with in our lives and thoughts. I can choose  to let a bad mood ruin both mine and my children's day or spend 10 minutes with the punching bag and be done with it, let a loss destroy my soul or  learn healthy coping mechanisms and honor our loved ones, we can let people's opinions and status on FB effect/offend us or we can just hide or block them (sorry had to throw that one in). When I was about 8 years old one of my neighborhood friends (a boy) drop kicked me in the stomach  on purpose and knocked the wind out of me. I ran home, cried in my living room, and went back down the street to find him and kicked him back. All was good after that. We forgave and continued to play. We have to live, learn, forgive, sometimes even the score, learn to let go, and move on with life. I hope you all enjoy this sunshine down south today!!

The pursuit of happiness

I hope everyone had a great week/ weekend!! It's been pretty busy around here this past week as I have started another home improvement project. This past year we have tackled our kitchen and bathrooms. Now I have moved onto the living room, dining room, master bedroom, and hopefully basement. I have a really bad problem of not being able to stop something I have started so these projects seem to overtake my life. I am trying learn that it's ok to take a break for a minute or two. Anyways we had fantastic weather down here in the southern part of the country this weekend. This winter has been the longest and coldest I can remember from my 15 years in the south so the warmth is very much welcomed! Yesterday was my nephew Alex's birthday so I thought it was fitting how beautiful it was outside. I loved having the windows open, smelling the fresh air, and listening to the kids play. In my mind I was thinking how anyone could not be happy on a day like this. It made me sad to think that there was people out there who were unhappy despite the beautiful day and  I questioned how to overcome such unhappiness. As you all know there are 11 kids in my family. Between the lot of us there isn't much we haven't been through. We have all had our share of difficult journeys. I would have to say though that the most difficult life altering event I have been through would have to be the death of my Mom. I was 22 years old and 5 months pregnant with Aubrey (my 2nd child) when my mom passed away unexpectantly. I was very close to my Mom. We did everything together from our grocery shopping to just hanging out. I lived right next door to my parents and my husband was working evening shift at the time 3-11 pm so I spent a lot of that time at my parents house. Plus my mom was an awesome cook so I didn't want to miss out on all those great dinners. I had no need for friends as my family was enough. My mom was a part of my everyday life. Since then so much has changed in life. My dad got remarried 9 months after my moms passing. My mom was very involved in all of her kids lives so it was very hard to not have that in my dad's new wife. That among many other things caused  such a huge rift in my family that what I once called an  unbreakable bond broke. I never would have thought anything could tear my family apart. We had always been so close. I've come to realize that Mom's are the glue that keep us together. I could go on for days about that time in my life, but the reality is that the longer you thrive on everything that's wrong with your life the more miserable you become. I want to focus on how to overcome these life changing events, how to be happy despite life's greatest challenges. We all have them, no of us are exempt. If you are going through a tough time then I am talking to you today. If you can think back on your life to your happiest times, what made you that way? What were you doing, who were you with, were you doing something you enjoy?  How do we get back to this place in our lives? Are you surrounding yourself by people that lift you up or bring you down? Is your thought processes always taking a negative path? When I lost my mom I had no choice but to continue on with life in a positive way, I had a baby growing inside of me that I was responsible for her well being. What in your life is worth pushing forward for? Another thing I have learned is that there is always someone out there that has it worse than you do. We have to stop with the "poor me" attitude  and be grateful we are not walking in worse shoes. An elderly lady at my church shared a story in Sunday school class that I want to share... There was a lady who had stopped coming to church who these ladies were trying to visit to check on her. They had stopped by the woman's house many of times only to be ignored or turned away. Instead of getting angry at the rejection they continued on to let the lady know that they still cared. One day they received a phone call from the ladies husband that she was ready to visit with them. She was super busy at the time with mom duties and it really wasn't a good time for her to go make the visit but she did it anyways. When they got there the lady told them that years ago in the small town they lived in there was a flash flood. She scooped up both kids, one in each arm, to try and get to safety. While walking the current began to get too strong. She no longer had the strength to carry both children. She had to make the choice of which one of her children to let go of and which to save. I myself can not even begin to imagine making that kind of decision  much less the guilt, sorrow, anger, sadness. It would be absolutely devastating. Bottom line is we have to find the will to overcome. Learn to forgive ourselves. If we don't we are only setting ourselves up for a long miserable life. I know there are some days that are impossible but just remember that tomorrow is a new day. That is the beauty of life, we get a do over everyday. Count your blessings not your hardships. Work on getting back to the "happiest time of your life".